I support your plan, Dear Herby! How about another THEOSU alum, John Kasich, as Chief of Staff to supervise the VP. Would help tremendously in the South!
Oh, I can't wait to see Kasich again, because he seems to have forgotten everything that I taught him. After listening to me for a year, he went to the polls in 1972 and voted for the great George McGovern, At least, that's what he told me. I prefer to see the best in everyone, so I'll assume that he was telling the truth. Besides, he wasn't working for
fox "news" yet, so he still hadn't signed a contract promising to lie about everything. Herby, as your running mate, I'm going to need to give you advice from time to time, even when it's something that you don't want to hear. You are such a gifted and convincing performer that some people might not know when you're joking. For example, you posted that nonsense about the wonderful folks at ACORN which was completely false. As I'm sure you know, being investigated by republican political hacks doesn't mean that you're guilty of anything. Despite all of the republican attempts to harass ACORN, not a single case of voter fraud has been found. In fact, the fraud was actually committed against ACORN, not by ACORN. Some people took their money and turned in fraudulent voter registration forms which ACORN was required by law to submit. However, that didn't enable anyone to vote illegally. Even if someone turned in a hundred forms for Mickey Mouse, it still meant that The Mick could only cast one ballot. I'm sure that fox "news" was planning to explain all of that, but they probably had to interrupt for another exciting JLo update. Of course, we later found out that there were provocateurs who had infiltrated ACORN in order to sabotage their efforts to promote democracy. I haven't seen any evidence that this was another karl rove operation, but it certainly looks like his work. After someone has committed that many crimes, you begin to see a pattern. So anyway Herby, I just wanted to protect your reputation by making sure that everyone knows that you were joking when you posted those complete falsehoods about ACORN. I got you out of this one, but please try to be more careful in the future. See you on the campaign bus!
See, I told you this guy was much smarter than me. That's why he's the VP.
Remember GLK, as VP you must remain "Fair and Balanced" I think you need to watch more O'Reilly to balance you out. A good dose of "Fox" should help even more. Cancel your subscription to the NY Times (Probably going out of business anyway) turn off NBC (Nurturing Barrack's Campaign) and turn on the "Factor." The "Great American" Sean Hannity wouldn't hurt you either. I ask the American people this..."How long has the Reid/Pelosi/Obama/Dodd regime been in office?" Most Americans would say "Too long." I'm not like that. I say give them the weekend to get things straightened out before you give them the boot...you see..."Fair and Balanced" Then vote for Herby/Kennedy before it's too late. Remember, the main reason you're on this ticket is name value. Gary, we have serious problems to take care of. The 1st thing we have to do to help the American people is roll back the cigarette tax. I'm not sure you knew this, but as of April 1 a carton on smokes went up 20 bucks. That's a 50% increase. We also need an oversight committee to look into these tanning facilities. Rhonda said here in Missouri most tanning beds are dirty. There's no health organization currently inspecting these places. Lets clean it up!!! Most lettuce I buy in the grocery store has rust all over it. What's up with that? I have to throw away at least a half of a head everytime I buy 1. All iceberg lettuce will be green with no rust on it when I'm in office. Global cooling...Winter will only last 2 weeks, during the Christmas Holiday, when I'm elected President. The rest of the year will be 50's at night, and mid 70's during the day. Golf year around that way. So you see Gary, we need to focus on the important things in this world. Voter fraud will be eliminated when I'm President. Instead of going to a polling place, you'll be able to call in your vote. If you're voting for me, just give me a call on the phone. This way you can express your thoughts and concerns directly to me. If you want to vote for someone else, just give them a call. It's much more convenient then standing in line at a voting booth. I'm thinking I will hire Kasich as an advisor. (Good call Mike B.) Since you and Kasich were room mates in College, he can keep you in line, and show you what channel Fox is on. Gary never worry about my reputation. I am married to the Queen of Bluegrass. Need I say more.....
Herby, I don't pay any attention to the New York Times or NBC because of their obvious conservative bias. They even make Mike Garlock look like a liberal. Bill O'Lielly and Sean Insanity are okay if you need a good laugh, but I also like to watch news programs. The best place to get serious news is from The Daily Show and The Colbert Report on Comedy Central.
Hey Gary....have you noticed President Obama is speaking on TV right now from the G-20 Summit, and N. Korea hasn't fired their missle yet?
Everybody was worried it might hit Alaska, China, or Hawaii. I was worried it was pointed at London.