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99
 #1 

 

For the enjoyment of all women

 

 

 

 

Summer Classes for Men at Sally Mountain


REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by

Wednesday, July 1st 2009


NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 2 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM (H.S. & D.A.)



Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays -- Systematically, with Slide Presentation.
Meets Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 2:00 PM. After the Sally Mountain Tour.



Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll -- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets Wednesday at 4:30pm for 2 hours.



Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? -- Group Practice.
Meets Thursday 6:00am for 2 hours, at the Porta potties across from the Cook Shack.
 
 
 
Class 4
The Stove/Oven -- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Wednesday at 8:00 AM, at the Cook Shack. Learn how to use the Stove/oven while preparing the women their breakfast. 

 
 
Class 5
Dirty Dishes -- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
At the cook shack after breakfast has been served…..time to be determined!
As well we will be discussing the Pink (girl) jobs and the Blue (boy) jobs.

 
 
Class 6
Loss Of Identity -- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Wednesday at 1:00PM, 2 hours at the “Hood” in 99’s trailer.
Refreshments will be provided, and served to all who attend by Herby and 86!

 
 
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things -- Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Thursday at 10:00 AM, 2 hours.
 
12:00 to 1:00PM
Lunch and flower pick-up.

 
 
Class 8
Health Watch -- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Thursday at 1:00PM at the Cook Shack……..Bring a bouquet of flowers. Meet for 1 ½ hours. ½ hour break to deliver the bouquet of flowers to your significant other.



Class 9
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
Thursday at 3:00pm, 2 hours. Location to be determined.



Class 10
Learning to Live -- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. 
Role-playing.
Thursday at 7:00 PM, at the Martha White Bus.



Class 11
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion --
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets Friday beginning at 7:00 AM until you get the idea! Bus departs from the front gates of the park. Be there by 6:45AM. Prepare for a long eventful day in Kirksville. Bring water and crying towel. J

Part B of Class 11

Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost -- Real Life Testimonials. We will be deliberately getting lost and asking the men to go in and ask for directions.



Class 12
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy -- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Saturday at 10:00am for approx. 3 hours.

You will have a 1 hour lunch/rest period at this time.



Class 13
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor -- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturday at 2:00 PM for 2 hours. This class will be taught at Herby’s house, as we all know he saves his laundry in large piles!


Upon completion of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

                               

 

Julia
 #2 
Ok, I've been wanting an excuse to buy a video camera, THIS may be it
Courtney
 #3 


Oh trust me Julia, you are gonna wanna bring a video camera this year.
Rhonda
 #4 
I just bought 2 video cameras while in NYC, and they just arrived!!!

We're set for shooting at Sally MOUNTAIN!!! 

HS
 #5 
I already have answers to these questions. I'm sure Don has some too. No need for a class ladies.
1. ice maker built into the fridge, unless you live in Canada. Ice pick to the side of the igloo works well for there.
2.Us men are fine with corn cobs. It's you women that prefer something softer.
3.The tree in the backyard works well for this.
4.Womans work....cereal is always an option for the ladies.
5.Sure they can fly into the sink...mine do it all the time...the landing is sometimes tough.
6.The line must be drawn here. The remote is too technical for the women to use. This is mans work!!!
7.If you would leave the stuff alone, we could find it. Example: When the dryer is full of underwear we can find it. The problem is the women are always trying to hide it in a drawer somewhere. Geeez..it's so elementary.
8.On contrare mon ami.....(Thats close to french) Flowers are bad for your health.....ALLERGIES!!!!!!
9.NO!!!!! We value our cars too much to sit quietly while the women try to park it, and scratch the sides.
10.In name only!!!! Mother and wife should be so similar, the man should have trouble telling the difference.
11.The answer to this is simple....A recliner and a big screen in every store....refreshments would be a nice touch as well.
11B. Right....what are you smokin'? Men never get lost. I imagine this class will be cancelled due to lack of attendance.
12.Cerebral what????? I can't remember the answer I had for this 1. NEXT..
13.The answer to this is obvious....they're one in the same...


Geez, can't ya come up with something challenging????

Julia
 #6 
Quote:
Geez, can't ya come up with something challenging????


You could teach a class on buying curtains!!!
99
 #7 

LOL...       

 

Good idea Julia....we could add buying curtains to the list! 

 

Some of these guys just think they have the answers.  We women know what really goes on behind closed doors.

Best get working on your makeup boys, the cameras will be rolling and you wanna make sure you look good for those close-up shots!

Get those cameras ready girls!

Courtney
 #8 
99!!!
CK
 #9 

I won't need any of those classes because I have been taking my advice from HS... but I am interested in the lunch or refreshments being served. I'll drop by just for that.

Julia
 #10 
Ok CK, you are welcome to come by and enjoy the refreshments, just a word of warning, word is that Dear Herby, aka Suzy Homemaker will be making the cookies, so you may want to stay clear of them
99
 #11 

Houston we have a problem……….
CK……... The problem being you are taking Herby’s book the wrong way. The way he means everything in the book is that the advice he gives you, you do the opposite. He must have forgotten to mention that to all you men folk out there. Also, any advice that Agent 86 (he seems to be giving advice to KAOS as well) has given should be taken with extreme caution!!!  Unless he has 99 or Control with him he seems to get himself in a whole heap of TROUBLE!!!  It kind of reminds me of the Old Get Smart TV series.  
As for the advice of Julia…….. take it to heart,  the men are doing ALL the cooking, unless Herby and 86 can do some sweet talking  to Carolyn, we will fill her in, just so she knows how far these men will go to get out of work!  BUT, if there is anything you want to add to the lunch or refreshments (as in giving the gentlemen a hand ) I am sure that they would never turn an extra hand down……especially if it will lighten the load of them doing everything themselves and serving us women.   
So by the sounds of your reply you must want to sign up …..no problem…….we will see you at Sally Mountain!

Susan
 #12 

HS
 #13 
For some reason I don't see a lot of women jumping on this band wagon, as the men did with the "Dear Herby Chronicles"

Probably for good reason.

That's OK...you women have your little fun here on the MB. My book (volume II) will be ready by Sally Mountain. I'm sure you will all be too busy reading that to have time for this non sense.
Julia
 #14 
That's only because the women around here are too busy working....we don't have all of the free time that you guys seem to have
Harry
 #15 

now I'm sort of glad I'm not coming this year. 

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